Thursday, December 6, 2007

Hold Up! Wait a Minute! Part III - Your Urgency is NOT my Emergency!



One of my faves, 'Los Angelista" got me thinking about other peoples urgencies. Sometimes people get us caught up in their "urgencies"! We might be moving through our days, balanced, no chaos, orderly, checking things of our checklist in a calm and productive way.

(You know I have been challenged to get things in order, get organized, and find balance.)

So we are rollin'. The clothes are washed, the number 2 on your checklist is complete, you are steadily checking your list of appointments and phone calls, you know what the priorities are. You feel calm and in control. YES!! I am getting it together! The business is in order, then....someone hits you up with the "urgent" email. Something that they need done "yesterday" is left in a panic on your voice/email!

Well, the thought that stayed with me was from Los Angelista, stating that she was practicing "not worrying about returning "non-urgent " phone calls right away." It gave her a sense of calm and peace

I realized that a lot of what stresses my day is O.P.P That's right! Other peoples problems! But not simply other peoples problems. Other peoples urgent issues that turn into your, "STOP! Let me save YOU and the world problems.

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be un-empathetic here. I don't want to see anyone hurting, in need or trouble. For my friends, loved ones, colleagues and sometimes complete strangers I am willing to give, help, bail out (of trouble) and console.

However, times, when someone is standing in front of you, demanding "Quick! I need you to sign off on these documents so that I can get them out by the time Fed-Ex comes!" or "Oh my gosh! The bank is closing in 15 minutes and my brother has my car and he won't answer his cell phone and I HAVE to get there before it closes or else 5 checks are going to bounce?!" or "Quick, what's that telephone number you gave me 2 weeks ago? I lost it and....these are peace and calm zappers!

Some well meaning person, is just trying to live their life and get things done, but they are asking you to STOP, immediately whatever you are doing and save their world. And you know what? Until recently, I tried to do just that. Stop and help them save their world. The problem is, I realized that my world starts to unravel just a little bit at that moment.

I also realized in a moment...a second, that I was getting caught up in the drama of someone else's urgency. In that moment, my schedule, plan, day was going to be turned upside down, by someone that I love dearly, but who was having a raggedy urgency.

Your urgency is NOT my emergency! I appreciate your circumstance. I respect where you are coming from. However, I am not always able to stop what I am doing and help you repair the problems of your day. I am not being uncaring or mean. I am simply asking you to respect that I too have deadlines and projects, children to pick up and bank deposits to make. I must find a way to manage my life that does not negatively impact others as much as possible.

So now, I say, " I would love to help you out as soon as I finish this project I'm working on" or "I will be available in an hour if you still need assistance.

Exhale.

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