Do YOU!

Where you at?! This is not a rhetorical question. Nor, is it a reminisce of the goofy Boost Mobile commercials featuring mischievous octogenarians groovin' to a Fabolous tune (Whoo hooo!) . I genuinely want to know "where YOU at?"
I BET you know where all the kids are, because you have been dropping them off and picking them up, and dropping them off and picking them up and … You pro-ba-bly know where your mate is, or at least, where the hell he is supposed to be. And if I take a wild guess, I know where YOU are. You are behind the steering wheel, in front of the stove, at the grocery store, rushing out of the house to work, underneath a pile of laundry….I could go on , but it might get overwhelming…or depressing…or the obvious combination of the two.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not bemoaning the duties of "woman". It is gratifying to care for our families. What I AM bemoaning is the cessation of caring for ourselves. The kids have dance, sports, friends, movie-night. Your man is most definitely doing HIS thing, whatever that may be…golf, basketball, poker, working on the car. What, besides caring for everyone else do YOU love or want to do? When was the last time you did it? Where YOU at?!
What one thing would you do right now if you had the time? What is it? What do you want to try? Read a book, work in the garden, take a dance class, write poetry? Why aren't you doing it? Self- neglect is the number cause of…..unhappiness, relationship drama, depression…you name it. Of course I have no real statistics to back this up, except my own devastating spiral into all of the above.
When I looked up and my man had one foot out the door, I looked in the mirror and asked myself, "where you at?" I couldn't find even a glimpse of the person he had fallen in love with. Even if I just forget about him for a minute( make it more, my best friend would say) and try to find the me that I used to be in love with, it is a difficult task.
So ladies, get out a pen and paper, right now! Make a list of five things that YOU want, have wanted, been wanting to do. Start slow, but do at least ONE this week. Tell me "where you AT?!"

7 in the Bed

Even in the midst of drama and emotion, the family comes first. So here we are, family trip, mostly about the kids, but it makes for a nice, neutral spot to remember why you mated with this person in the first place. With toddler twins the bed gets crowded anyway, but going through it, makes for a much more crowded situation.

First, there is the elephant called "rough times" which takes up about 1/4 of the bed. Nasty visitor is this tension, which we almost always feel compelled to try and remove by force.
Second, is Male Trepidation (MT). This really amounts to his fear of his HUGE balls being removed in the middle of the night, by the bitter woman lying two children away from him. (Somehow MT always shows itself as Assanine Arrogance.) MT typically tries to hog half of the bed.
Third, The Brick, which is the vulnerable females alter ego. She is vying for 1/2 the bed, determined not to let MT win over. She stands ready to hit Vulnerable Female right over the head the minute she starts to swoon in nostalgic weakness. "BAM! Get a Clue, this is the same fool that didn't come home the other night.

The good thing is that even with all those folks in the bed, the neutral locale made for civil conversation. Natural, non-reactionary talk about kids, work, relationship. You know he really is so funny....and charming. He really is just going through a phase he doesn't mean to......BAM! BAM! BAM!

Guess who just got control of the covers?!