People...the FDA, media, researchers, companies, etc spend a lot of time, money and energy, identifying, categorizing, labeling and warning people about toxins that are hazardous to our physical and mental health. Television shows and movies have been made about the disastrous effects on children, adults, and whole communities being exposed to various life threatening substances. We scurry around buying anti-bacterial soap, organic produce, testing for lead, making sure we dispose of old paint, cleaners (dirty diapers) and other potentially dangerous household items properly. Recently in my quest to get rid of disgusting feral cats from my yard, I investigated several methods until I found one that wouldn't harm the cats, just get them to go away.
So why is it when we are so cautious about ridding ourselves, homes and neighborhoods of toxic substances do we put up with toxic people?
You know who I'm talking about. These are the people that suck the very life out of us. Usually slowly and painfully. They are people that we encounter on a fairly regular basis. They are probably people that you call, relative, friend or lover and that is why they are still there, like a leech, getting their nourishment from your demise.
Well I say it's time for DETOX!
Who do you have in your life that is there purely for their own benefit? You will recognize this person by their constant complaining. Or maybe it's when they tell you they love you but want you to change everything thing you think, say and do. It's the friend who hates all your other friends, or the lover who questions every single thing you do. It could be the person who is always right while you are always wrong. It is the person that it takes an unnatural amount of energy to be around and when you/they leave, you are both relieved AND exhausted.
For this person that is squashing, stomping out, quelling your joy, enthusiasm, breath, life... get one of those BIG yellow containers that says "HAZARDOUS MATERIALS" and STUFF THEIR BUTT IN IT!
It is time for you to DETOX!
7 comments:
(Applause) I like this post. There is someone in my life now I may not call toxic but they always leave me feeling exasperated. I think I tolerate this person because I feel deep down they are decent.
But I think It's a good idea every now and then to do an inventory of the people we hang out with. Sometimes when you meet a person they are a good force in your life, but as time goes on people out grow each other. Some friends are not meant to be lifelong friends.
I know I put up with toxic people because I'm related to them and I don't think it's right to just cut them off. But, I significantly limit my exposure to them. It's like non-stick pans. I know plenty of folks who still use them because they're easier to just use every once in awhile.
You are absolutely right. I refer to these people as "psychic vampires".
Mes Deux,
You are exactly right. I don't know why it seems that sometimes we spend a lot of energy trying to maintain friendships that were meant to have moved along. Kids do it so easily. I watch my little girls. When they feel hurt, they are quick to say "I'm NOT YOUR FRIEND!" They do this kind of reflection frequently (lol). Of course they make up as quickly, but maybe if we did that from time to time with people who are not treating us well, they would be more reflective of their behavior.
Liz,
That's a good point, cause I sure use non-stick pans...because it makes another part of my life easier. Maybe it is just about balance and moderation for some, unless they are truly the "vampires" that L.B. speaks about.
l.b. - the love(lack of love) relationship of someone I care about inspired this blog. I have literally seen all of the life sucked out of her. She is beginning to be hard to recognize. A vampire has definitely been feeding on her spirit.
Yes, yes, yes. Unfortunately for me, these are often family members. Fortunately for me, I do have a great core group of friends who are supportive and life-affirming as opposed to sucking all the energy out of me. I did drop one friend this past year because not only was she mildly toxic to me, but she was inadvertantly toxic to my daughter (our kids are the same age). You know I can't fool with someone who upsets my baby!
Lisa blah blah,
Oh yes! The mother lion comes out where our babies are concerned! It's great that you have balance, between those that are giving and supporting of you and those who might be taking. I think what's even more important than getting the toxic people out of our lives, (because we can't always) is recognizing those people who are doing us harm as benign as it may seem and then being proactive about protecting ourselves and our families.
Great post! And glad you got the safe feral cat boundary repellent but must mention- feral cats are not disgusting- they are domestic cats that their disgusting toxic humans threw out like garbage- they suffer horribly-starvation- from flea infestation- disease- flu- gangs- torture- may I suggest going to the local shelter - and trap- spay and nueter- catch and release program- because they will keep breeding- they need your help not your condemnation- you can have a healthy cat colony via kindness- and educate your neighbors too- they are desperate-
thanks again!
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