Thursday, January 24, 2008
Double X Apparently Means Double Standard
I know this is not a new thought, idea, conjecture, but what the hell is up with the double standard in, what is this, 2008?
Women have been working full time forever! I am talking about ALL the working we do. Not just out of the home for someone else, but in the home as well, and I KNOW first hand that stay at home mom's work harder than ANYBODY that gets to leave the house from 9-5.
So why is it, that those human beings with an X and a Y chromosome must constantly remind us that they "have been at work all day". They need to WIND down. "I just need to have some peace and quiet for ONE hour."
"EXCUSE me?!" I worked all day TOO! Maybe I got up at 5 a.m., fixed breakfast (while you slept), made lunches (while you took a shower), woke up all the kids( while you watched the news) and then took a 3 minute shower, put on wrinkled pants and got out the door with NO time to spare, dropping kids off here, there and everywhere while you are looking and smelling like a rose and rolling up to the office leisurely. But somehow, you are working harder than me!
Maybe I got to go to work with grown-ups and meet other peoples deadlines, time-crunches and demands, or maybe I did the same thing, just at home with babies, toddlers and other short people.
And at 5 o'clock p.m. I am having Deja Vu. This time however, I am cooking dinner (while you watch the news) helping kids with homework (while you watch the game) and giving babies baths (while you snore in the chair).
Now, being that we are intelligent, compassionate beings, we say things like, "Honey, do you think you could run the bath water for the kids, while I finish up the dishes?" Ha-Ha!
"I just want to finish watching the last quarter of the game! You know I've been working all day!"
I am not begrudging him the game, I just DON'T want him to begrudge me my long luxurious bath at the end of the day. Why is his game non-negotiable, but my bath is?
Why do they insist that what we do all day, is less tiring, less stressful than what they do? And this entitles them to more play time?
Or what about the Daddy Baby-Sitter? The daddy babysitter is the guy that you have to "ASK" ahead of time if he is available to watch HIS OWN kids while you...DO ANYTHING!
"I have to go to the grocery store..."
"Yeah, okay. How long will you be?"
How LONG will I be? What is that? It's not like I said I was going to the club with my girlfriends! I said I was going to the very exciting GROCERY STORE.
"Oh, I don't know? I get a little carried away, thumping the Honeydew melons sometimes!" PUH-LEEZE!
But when we DO try to go to a movie, out to lunch, or participate in any other entertaining activity, we get,
"Uh, sorry, I'm going to a Laker Game!"
Huh? ! Why is it that if I am doing something outside of the house, I have to ASK ahead of time, like a teenager. However, HE just goes. Knowing that the mother, woman, primary care-giver, will be home ( or arrange for an acceptable caregiver to be there?)
I get it, but I just don't GET IT. Reasonably intelligent men, become complete (insert your best word here) when it comes to what they believe their home, parental and relationship responsibilities are. They have a freedom, a laissez faire that I don't understand. You know things like going out to a meeting and three hours later they call and say "oh, i got into a pick-up game at the park." How the hell did you get from a business meeting to the park?! All while I was home doing laundry, chasing a 4 year old and sweeping the floor.
Of course there is the one where you're trying to reach them via electronic device and you may or may not get an answer. But if YOU don't pick up on the second ring or text back instantaneously, they send out the National Guard. We are supposed to be readily available, at all times. They will "get back to you when they can"
This just touches the surface of the double-standards that seem to be socially acceptable or just "accepted". I am not begrudging men their freedom and right to rest and relax, just please don't begrudge me the same!