Who Moved My Man?!

Most of us subconsciously anticipate some degree of change over a period of time without drama. We put on a few pounds, our favorite show ends it's run, the kids need new shoes ,we notice a grey hair. We are somehow prepared for these gradual, ever present shifts in our realities. As a matter of fact, things might get monotonous if these changes did not occur.
So why then, if we know that change is inevitable do we lose it the moment that we recognize…more truthfully, acknowledge, changes in our man and relationships?
It isn't that we don't notice the changes. Let's be honest here. We are pretty good at noticing the most miniscule changes in everything. Especially if you are a control freak like me.
Unfortunately it seems that there are some things that we just assume….desire….hope will be consistent, steady and dependable. Our relationship with our man is one of those things.
We begin in such bliss, and frankly we want it to stay that way. Admit it, even in your annoyed rantings at picking up his underwear off the floor, or helping him to find his keys for the thousandth time, you are all still in the "fairytale" mindset with your relationship…and in bliss.
Then…when you least expect it, a brick falls on your head. Once the room stops spinning and you get your focus, you barely recognize the man that is standing before you. Yes, it looks like the man you love, sounds like the man you love, but something about THIS man in front of you just ain't quite right.
The man YOU love HATES shopping, but this one keeps coming home with new polo shirts and cologne. The man you love comes in to kiss you while you are frying chicken and asks what time dinner will be ready, this new creature announces "Oh, I decided to go vegetarian"?! The man you love, coaches the kids basketball team, this new man says, " I don't think I want to be in a relationship anymore" WTF!!
So you pick your mouth up off of the floor and quietly…. well, not so quietly, go into warp speed trying to get things back the way they are supposed to be before your man loses any more of his damn mind! You clean a little better, take a cooking class and learn to make a mean Tofu Teriyaki, and of course you stop by Victoria's Secret and turn up the heat in the sheets!
All this running and cooking and _________ of course just moved that man right back where he was when you last saw him, right? WRONG!
Spencer Johnson, helped me figure it out in his very honest, very succinct book, Who Moved My Cheese . I got too comfortable. I committed to the situation before me because in that moment it was solid, secure and loving. I forgot or maybe, ignored the reality of change. Maybe I was just too inundated with life…. kids, work, dinner, sleep ( when I am lucky). How could this be?? I saw the grey hair and covered it, I bought the new shoes for our kids, I stopped the Tivo after the Sopranos finale, these things are evidence that I understand change, right?
So why do we conveniently not notice when our man has fallen asleep on the couch for 3 nights in a row, or that while he used to take us to all of his Season ticket holder Laker games, he now just goes alone, cause the "sitter thing is such a hassle".
In retrospect, I HAD noticed when the cheese…the man, had started to dwindle, but like Hem (Spencer, 1998), instead of anticipating and responding to change, I dug my heals in and demanded that my man and relationship NOT CHANGE!
It doesn't work . So stop! Stop running in circles. Stop digging in your heals. Stop pretending that things haven't changed because it IS time for a change.